Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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