Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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