So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
