The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
