I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
