Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
