hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
