If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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