I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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