don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
