Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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