Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
