I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
