yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
