Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
