You made me cry and you don't even care
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
