he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
