It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
