Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
