If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize