He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
