I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
