Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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