You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
