I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
