I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've blown a few things in my day
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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