He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
