hotel room ftw
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
