i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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