I'm so fucking centered right now
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there was a trapeze. enough said
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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