Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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