i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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