If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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