Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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