are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
