ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
