oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
