Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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