Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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