Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
