She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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