I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
