If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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