Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she peed on how many people?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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