her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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