if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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