i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The ass gains better be worth it
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