The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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