As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
