i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Found the puke drawer
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
