I heard we made out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
