I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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