Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
