i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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