I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
