Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize