I need help removing her.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
