Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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